Indistinct screaming, figures whizzing past, the colors red and orange. It looked like fire. But there was no heat.
The next thing he knew he was on his bed, alone in a cold stone room in the castle. He wasn't royalty but their family comes pretty close. And his room resembled more like a dungeon than an actual room. They lived in a huge stone manor in the northern part of United Kingdom, near Scotland and he called it the Lord's castle; that's what he called his father, Lord Rowe, because never did he feel like a son to this family. He was being treated as an apprentice, a student, an heir but never a son. He wasn't even allowed to have friends. Can't leave, talk ,look...live. At least, like a normal person should. Then again, he's not really under that category.
"Trust is like money, you never give it away without an equal price," he would always hear his father say.
Trust is something he can't give away because there was nobody to give it to. He can never leave the castle on his own, never to talk to anyone unless approved by the Lord. His world, his crowd was this. This castle, with his so-called family along with a dozen servants who's afraid of him.
They had a reason to be afraid of him.
He woke up, sweat dotted his forehead, some slivering down the bridge of his nose and he can see it glisten as moonlight touches his skin.
It was a weird way to wake up in the middle of a freezing night, even more weird since he never really sweats.
All these years alone, he has finally earned his father's trust to be able to go out into the world and actually mingle, socialize or whatever it is they call it. He didn't have a clue. But what was that dream? A warning or a reminder?
A reminder that someone like him should not be let out loose into the world. A reminder that he was dangerous.
"Great," he thought. This was his chance to finally somehow breakfree of his father's grip. Why did his past fears have to resurface now?
He stood up and shook the remnants of his dream from his mind. He tried thinking of what it's going to be like with his cousin and his family. Being around with a different set of people. No dungeon-like room, warm weather... He was feeling better already.
He knew he shouldn't... he was forbidden to...but he can't help it. It was a part of him, no matter how hard they try or he tries to ignore and remove that part, he just can't. He looked at his fireplace, traces of last night's flame were gone and not even the smell of it could be discerned.
He looked down and out the window. He then closed his eyes and thought, he couldn't wait to leave this place. Even if it were just for a short while. The heat and freedom: Liberty. He kept saying it over and over again in his mind to drown out his fears. He can control it, he had to...he can.
He opened his eyes and a fire was set ablaze in the dying embers of his fireplace. He kept looking out the window, as if daring and challenging an invisible force to interfere with his pending escape from the cold, suffocating clutch of the Lord, a fire with greater intensity than that he created, reflected in his eyes.
She passes by this vast wall, covered with a rare breed of vines; Viola, usually seen and raised in Northern Europe. The wall that's over twenty-five feet high, once colored an earthy red now covered with moss and vines, studded with stunning, beautiful violet flowers.
She hasn't exactly seen what that wall had looked like before but she can just imagine. They say that behind that wall was a compound, once owned by one of the richest families in the world. Now it looks nothing more than a haunted place that kids like to tell stories about.
To her it wasn't at the least bit scary. That wall attracted her and it wasn't because of the dazzling purple flowers... she was curious what was inside. She heard that the property extended out into the coast. That was at least a couple miles away. It intrigued her, very much. A high and long wall protecting a large peice of land. What for?
Everyday she would assess the wall; wondering if she could climb it. Though the vines may not be filled with thorns, some of the branches are still pointed and sharp. One day, she walked the entire length of the wall just to see if she could ever satisfy her curiousity. Then she came across a clear path. She was almost at the end of the wall, in an alley-like place. The vine still spread out even here but there was a spot the ran down from top to bottom, a clearing that had been obviously used to climb up or down that wall.
Without hesitation and just a quick look around, she climbed the wall with ease and climbed down on the other side. When she turned around, her jaw dropped open in astonishment. She had been expecting a jungle-like appearance, with trees, vines and overgrown grass and hedges but instead, luscious forest of green, a variety of trees and plants that seemed to have just bloomed, a marked pathway, the ground surrounding it was almost completely covered by wildflowers. It was an oversized garden.
The clearing in the wall that also covered in plants could be disguised. Whoever used this didn't want anyone finding it from the inside. She walked towards the path, completely bemused that she failed to realize that she was expecting a forgotten compound not a well-maintained one. If she only knew the weight of that error.
Not far along she came across the first structure. A two-storey Meditarranean house with plainly plastered walls painted a warm brown color, adorned with wall trellises that are covered with Virginia Creepers.
She circled the house and found a pool with a jacuzzi on one side, and pavillion beside a willow tree on the other. The entire place was well maintained, and yet she wonders why she hasn't come across anybody yet. It's not like she wanted anybody to see her, she was after all tresspassing, but it just intrigued her more and more.
Why was a place, as beautiful as this, deserted?
She took her chances and tried the door that led from the pavillion to the inside. Just as she suspected, it was open.
What was supposed to be a light click of the door, seem to have amplified by the emptiness of the room. She stayed out for a while waiting for someone to catch her. After a few seconds, she entered the house thinking that it was safe.
She entered an elegant study, mahogany shelves covered all sides from top to bottom. A large desk on one end with a beautiful credenza at its back, while the other side was occupied by a divan and armchairs. A delicate ceiling fan hanged in the middle, while the floor was covered with a rich dark green carpet.
She was only at the first room and her breath has already been taken away.
She left the study and walked into another surprise.
She felt like being in another country. Tiles on the floor, murals on the walls, elegant cornices, wall lamps and even a fountain in the middle. What stunned her what that she walked out in sunlight. An atrium. A vestibule. Art. She couldn't decide what to call it.
She realized that the fountain was working, she quickly took a step back inside the study and looked around her. Still, there was nobody in sight. a mixture of emotions were flooding her. Anxiety and curiosity being the most prominent.
Right across the study was the living room, just as elegant as everything else in the place. Rich sofas and chairs, antique furnitures and a grand piano at the side. There were no murals but the place was decorated with paintings. There was a part she could not see and so she started walking towards it. But her eyes were caught by another atrium on the other side. This one was bounded by columns and there was no fountain, instead a garden was in its place. She started walking in that direction when...
"How did you get in here?" a man's voice asked as he placed his hands on her shoulders. Without waiting for a reply, he hastily turned her around.
She was about to say something but was shocked by look on the man's face.
He was the most handsome man she had ever seen. He didn't look like a servant so he must be the master of the house.
Dirty blonde hair, his toned body could be seen even under the Armani suit. That, however, was not why she was surprised, it was the look he gave her. Like he was seeing a ghost.
"I'm sorry," she said, taking her eyes away from his face. "I didn't-- I was just-- I'm just really sorry!" she said as she struggled in his grip. The man, boy, was still looking at her in disbelief.
The man was not as old as she he thought he was. In fact, he looked no more than a few years older than she was. Probably seventeen or eighteen.
Lance Rowe couldn't believe what he was seeing. It was her. After all these years, it was her, she was finally back. There she was, in his hands again.
He saw fear in her eyes. 'Why is she afraid?' he thought. He could feel her struggling in his hands and finally noticed that she wasn't just afraid, she was hurting from his grip and that she was actually trying to break free.
He released his hold on her. And just as quick, she ran back the way she came in.
She doesn't remember. That realization was not supposed to have surprised him, but it did and it hurt.
She ran towards the study and forgot about the step up. She tripped and fell. He ran to her aid in a flash second. He helped her up and saw her right elbow bleeding.
"Come on," he said as he took her hand and led her to the living room. She hesitated. "Don't worry, I'm just going to treat that," he said with a smile. A smile he fought hard to show despite the pain of knowing that she doesn't remember him.
She started to walk slowly, apprehensively. He sat her down on an armchair, "Wait here," and went to get the first aid kit. As he walked back, his eyes were fixed on her.
He couldn't recognize her from behind because of her hair. It was blonde. He smiled to himself, thinking how she had always disliked blonde hair on her. She said, she could never imagine herself as one. The irony. She was also bleeding, which meant that she had not crossed over yet. The thing that he can't get of his mind, though, was her eyes. The fear she clearly conveyed in those expressive blue eyes. It was her eyes that told him who she was, it was still the same. Blue and as clear as water... but there was something else that was off. He couldn't put his finger on it, but there was something different, something he knows he should be able to tell immediately.
Shock. His eyes flew open, wide with shock.
She felt like a human.
"Are you okay now?" Jeremi Caine asked her as he handed her the cocoa and sat beside her.
She was sitting on the floor, before a crackling fire, wrapped in a blanket. She was lost in her thoughts, staring deeply into the fire. He knew why she was there. She didn't need fire to be warm since she was never cold. In fact, she is the reason why it's cold in the first place.
She gently nodded and accepted her beverage.
"Where's Lance?"
"Doing damage control," she answered still staring at the fire like she was being hynotized by it. He looked at what she was looking at and at the corner of his eye he saw something glisten. He turned and saw tears streaming down her face.
"I'm tired," she said with a loud sigh and a nervous laugh. "I'm tired of causing trouble, I'm tired of being taken care of... I'm just really tired," she tried to force a smile but failed at it and turned away to wipe tears that still tore through her tough facade.
She lay her head on his shoulder like she always does when she was frustrated with something but did not want to talk about it. With him, she never really had to speak for him to understand.
"Kaela, you do know that nobody blames you. Nobody ever does and nobody ever will," he explained. He wasn't just trying to make her feel better, it was the truth. He could never know what it is she feels when it happens. Therefore, he could never tell her he knows exactly how she feels or that he understands.
With that thought, he keeps on thinking that even after all the years they've been together, no matter what he does, she will always feel alone.
He had always been curious what is it they feel when she's having an attack. Like being hit with a wave of grief and suffering, anger and hate, negative emotions all mixed into one blast. It made them feel like submitting to the end of the world.
"What is it like?" he asked with such concern.
"You know you're the first person to ask me that--she smiled-- I can let you feel it but that is one thing I will never want to do," she started to explain.
"The only choice she gives me is that I hurt you or she does it for me," she continued.
"Let me..." he wanted to say that he wanted to feel what it was like. That it wasn't fair that she had to bear it all by herself... but he was afraid. It was funny to admit that even Death was afraid.
He summoned his courage and asked, "Let me feel it too? I promise I won't--" He tried his hardest not to show his fear. He was a great actor; he had been acting for years now.
Kaela intently looked into his eyes to find some sort of doubt, remorse or fear. They all knew what she goes through in every attack. She could not imagine person wanting to feel what it was like. She knew what Jeremi was thinking, just as Jeremi knew what was hers. The last thing she wanted to do what hurt her best friend more than she already has, but the thought of being able to relieve some of the pressure on her was so tempting...
Just with that thought, she instantly let her guard down and touch his hand. With that single touch of her fingertips, she was able to make him feel hell. He felt his heart break into a million peices. Millions of peices finding its way around his body pricking and stabing everything in their way. The pain was so intense that its magnitude is something he could not even describe. Pain, hurt, jealousy, anger all amplified a thousand times over.
Kaela had only touched him for second and immediately removed her finger from his skin. Jeremi felt his face get damp as tears flow from his eyes. He found himself one hand clutching at his chest and the other wound around his body like a child who woke from a nightmare, trying to protect himself from more pain.
"I'm sorry," she quickly apologized. She reached out to touch him and he fell back, avoiding it. Then he realized what he had done. He looked up expected to see Kaela taken aback, hurt; but all he saw was Kaela smiling, accepting the consequence of what she has done. She turned her head back towards the flames and said, "Even I'm afraid of myself," without a hint of bitterness.
"I didn't mean too... I had no idea that it was that..." He didn't know how to describe it. He was at a loss for words. He had already expected the worst and yet he was still blown away.
"How can you control something like that?" he asked.
"This isn't the worst of it. I have let some of it out during the attack. This is nothing. I have become used to this and you, offering yourself had just made me feel a whole lot better," she replied. He could see that she did somehow look relieved.
"Thank you," she said graciously. She was now looking straight at his eyes. She gave him a look he had never seen before. He had, but never directed at him. He could hear his heart thump louder than before. There was another fear growing in him. One that he thought he had long banished from his insides. A yearning he thought he had learned to control. The distance between them was excruciating. He could hear her breathing getting closer. He found her face coming closer, he didn't know if he was the one forwarding or was it her, then...
"Kaela," a voice from behind called. They turned around to see Lance Rowe standing a few feet from them.
That look that she was giving him immediately disappeared and was redirected toward somebody else. She looked back at Jeremi and smiled. She gave him a hefty yet swift kiss on the cheek and slowly stood up. She walked towards Lance and right before they left, she took one last look back at Jeremi who was still seating on the floor before a once crackling flame, now nothing but a few glowing embers.
Jeremi's eyes followed her as she stood up and walked towards the man he could never amount to. His own pain was back; Greater than before. She looked back at him, with her arms wound around another man. Their eyes met for a few seconds but the pain was back and the sight before him was unbearable. He quickly looked away. He never saw the pained look in Kaela's eyes when he did so.
Kaela felt her heart slightly ache. A feeling she knew she shouldn't be having.
note: I still don't know if this will be in the main story. I want it to be but... I don't know where to put it. Lol. I also don't know if I'm gonna continue this. Looks like a good ending to me. I could right an extension, I have it already, I just don't know if it's too much.
